NASHVILLE, TN — According to sources, Daily Wire political commentator Matt Walsh is horrified after DailyWire+ announced a new Matt Walsh-themed anime series entitled Libslayer One-Beard Man With Walrus.
“All of us here at the Daily Wire are proud conservatives, but we’re also major weebs,” said CEO Jeremy Boreing while clutching his full-size waifu body pillow. “It has long been a dream of mine to create a conservative anime series, and now that dream is realized.”
The new series will follow One-Beard Man as he slays liberal demons with his quirky walrus sidekick using his powerful skills, which include turning his beard into a chainsaw, morphing both arms into high-powered stun guns, and transforming into a man-eating translucent mermaid.
“With every fiber of my being, I hereby denounce this irredeemable piece of filthy demonic garbage,” said Walsh in his podcast after the announcement. “It’s scientifically impossible to transform your beard into a chainsaw. It literally cannot happen. If The Daily Wire has chosen to abandon transcendant objective truths like these, I may have to take my talents elsewhere.”
Libslayer One-Beard Man With Walrus will feature the voice of Chris Pratt doing his best to imitate Matt Walsh, who refused to lend his voice to the project.
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